Chaos in the Universe…

Miss Universe that is… Have you heard this?! On Sunday, December 20, 2015, Fox television was airing the Miss Universe pageant, hosted by Steve Harvey. Normally Mr. Harvey is one of my most liked individuals, but I don’t know whether to cry for him or just shake my head at his HUGE fumble! While reading the results of the runner up and winner, he confused the two.

The real winner was Miss Philippines, Pia Alonzo Wurtzbach (@piawurtzbach), who took her place gracefully off to the side as the runner up, Miss Colombia, Ariadna Gutierrez Arevalo (@gutierrezary), accepted her crown, took her walk and was basking in the light of her new reign. Even though apologizing profusely for his mistake, the host could not make up for the embarrassment that Miss Colombia must have been feeling, not to mention how uncomfortable it must have been for Miss Philippines to basically come down and snatch the crown off of somebody’s head in order to celebrate her win.

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Too much information…

When leaving the hospital, I told them that I didn’t have anyone that could physically care for me in an emergency at home. That was tested and proven last night…Watch this video to find out just how humbled I had to be… https://youtu.be/tenoV1CwT38

Compliments Above the Toilet

Run into the restroom at Kroger’s yesterday and was slightly aware that there was one other person in there… So ASI am going…

Woman: “Hey lady?”
Me: (Knowing she HAS to be talking to me) “Yes?”
Woman: “Anyone ever tell you that you look like Sandra Bullock?”
Me: (Laughing. Seriously?) “Yes, yes they have…. uh, thank you.”
Woman: “Yeah, it’s definitely a compliment, she’s beautiful.”

That has GOT to be the strangest compliment I have ever received. I am grateful nonetheless…

Escaping to the Ocean via Pennsylvania

Every now and then I need to get away for awhile… Luckily I was blessed enough to meet my friend B some years back and she “sends” for me every couple years or so. I was hitting a boiling point recently and needed to separate myself from the chaos. Mighty B to the rescue! It took plenty of working with friends, family and the greatest man to make a plan. It was the last week of the summer, right in between the boys’ birthdays… My last opportunity to leave for another school year! So, I left on a midnight train, okay, it was 11 o’clock train, to Pennsylvania aboard Amtrak’s Capitol Limited. I have never been on a train and was thrilled that we were leaving in the middle of the night. The darkness tends to quiet people down and quiet was exactly what I was looking for.
What’s across the tracks? (Taken with Instagram)
This is what I saw right before getting on the train in Toledo, OH. I was kind of mesmerized by how ominous it was on the other side of the tracks. If I was into Harry Potter at all, I might have been a bit excited because I could totally see us boarding this train and disappearing into a cloud of smoke to Hogwart’s.
I couldn’t stop myself from snapping a photo before I boarded… I was incredibly excited to have a small break from the kids and the responsibilities of the house. They started calling people to board in the most interesting fashion. First it was passengers traveling with children, then people going to a certain area and so forth. The fact that they were separating us from the families with kids was awesome in my book. I have all the empathy in the world for them, but the chaos of the family is what I was relaxing from.  My hopes for there being plenty of room slowly diminished when they sat this older woman right next to me! Seriously? There was a whole empty top level of this car and you sit someone right next to me?! She must not have known that it was after 11pm or been uncomfortable, because she talked all the way to Cleveland! I was more than slightly irritated. Don’t get me wrong, she was nice, but who turns on their light and continues to talk when everyone else is sleeping?
Sleepy on train… #amtrak  (Taken with Instagram)
Being that I didn’t get much sleep the night before, I had plenty of time to try and take a nap on the way to Harrisburg, PA. Try being the key word. There is a long story about the dining car that I don’t feel like getting into right now…
Yaaaay..  I am SUCH a geek! #Elizabethtown  (Taken with Instagram)
Sometimes I can be such a geek! I absolutely LOVE the movie Elizabethtown and had to get a photo of this sign! 63b!!!
Yes, Life IS good… #vacation #lifeisgood (Taken with Instagram)
Got safely to Ephrata, PA, stopped long enough to shower and shave my legs, then jumped in the car to head to Delaware. Even my view from the couch when I finally got to sit down told me that Life Is Good
AND… I am on the beach…   (Taken with Instagram)
Finally able to put my feet in the sand at the beach!!! I think I have needed this for more than a couple years now…
Ahhh, the ocean… (Taken with Instagram)
Look, it’s the ocean!!! B has to put a pole out with live bait in order to use the beach, I think she prayed the whole darn time not to catch a fish.
La la la… I can’t hear you!!! (Taken with Instagram)
It looks like I am going, “Na na na na, I can’t hear you, ” in this photo, when the truth was I probably trying to figure out how to get my hair to stay up and out of the way.
Finally at some peace…
Proof that I was actually on the beach… The weather was perfect the whole time we were there, couldn’t have asked for anything more beautiful! I have the hardest time keeping my dreads up and out of the way though…
Flowers with breakfast… (Taken with Instagram)
It may have not been breakfast in bed, but the fact that someone else cooked it is just as cool! Even the flowers on my plate brought some joy to my day. I can’t tell you how nice it was to sit on the screened in porch, drink coffee and eat fresh, hot pancakes! What a way to wake up to head to the beach once again!
Before we head out onto the beach, B has to let the air out of the tires a bit… she would be so irritated if she knew I got this pic of her…

This seagull is bigger than my dog!  (Taken with Instagram)

This seagull just chilled for awhile near the truck on our last day there, he amazed me because he was bigger than both my dog and my cat! I had never seen one this size before!

Sitting at the station, ready to leave…  (Taken with Instagram)

Leaving Lancaster station and heading home… the night got infinitely more interesting from here. Hard to believe that there was so much drama packed into the ride home, but we will save that for another day…

Please, Hold Your Crazy In

Too many little things, not enough of something… that is how today has felt for me. The day was gorgeous! I think it was over 70 degrees for sure! The only other thing you could ask for, and it might almost seem greedy, is clear and sunny skies. I was not disappointed there either. Amazing weather for this time of year, that I cannot argue. There is something underlying here, something catching my breath. Maybe it was my call to my mom the other morning.  Sometimes I despise being so closely “in tune” with those I love in my life. Admittedly, there is no grace to be found in me despising it so. Yet, after that moment clicks when you know  that you are onto something with someone and you didn’t want to be? That lingering worry that can make you lie awake at night for hours just waiting for something to happen… it’s terrifying!

Things are changing so quickly around here that I had to stop myself today and remember that I cannot please everyone. I am the Queen of Disclaimers. It’s almost humorous to me now how trained the ex had me. “Why don’t you wear makeup, why are you wearing makeup, why are you wearing yoga pants to your best friend’s house, why are there two different kinds of feminine products on this receipt, why was that joke with your friend so funny, why don’t prostitute’s ever complain about that?” That last one was my favorite… Ultimately there is no one else to stand up and accept that I let that happen to myself. I was the one that handed over the keys to myself and said, “Here, redecorate as you wish.” What in the hell was I thinking?

I can tell you one thing, I wasn’t thinking about what a phenomenal woman I am! I sure as heck wasn’t thinking that. Even after all of these years away from him, I still explain my every move to people. That is NO way to live, almost to 40 and feeling like I am a child having to explain my thoughts to my daddy. What a pathetic man to even ever let me feel that way! Ugh….

All of it aside, forever grateful I will be to have went through every heartache. Today I can put my life into perspective and appreciate my family, my loves, my desires, for what they are worth. Today I know what a strong woman I am… Or do I? Why can’t I just live as I use to?

I was watching a dvr’d episode of Anderson today about families of serial killers. Pat Brown was on there and said something that really “hit home” with me… She had stated that one of the killers she had researched put it in perspective best when he was asked something along the lines of,”How do you think  the parents feel about not being able to put their daughter to rest?”, he responded with, “If I would’ve cared AT ALL about what the parents thought, I wouldn’t have killed their daughter.” Sums it up for me… some people are just seriously messed up in the head! There are varying degrees, but everyone is capable of a little crazy. When you can’t please someone for this or that, it’s nothing to take personal. It’s just harder for some to hold their crazy in.

I need to quit giving into everyone’s crazy…