Update from MotorCity

I have been doing some serious slacking as of late pertaining to my healing process. Got a hold of a small miracle the other day and was actually able to stay in a gorgeous room at Motor City Casino Hotel in Detroit, MI. During my stay I took the opportunity to pull some video to update all your curious minds. I hope you find it “educational!”

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Life Lessons and Protein

The healing process can really get to a person. Let me tell you, after being trapped in a bed for three weeks, one can start to feel as if they are going to crawl out of their skin. I have been doing my best to be the most well-behaved patient ever, but it is becoming harder with each new day…

Inspiration and the Internet

I have not been myself lately. I have stopped being me again. There is this defense mechanism that I seem to carry on some tiny gene that says I must go into a type of hibernation as soon as things start to get a bit “tense” in my life. Or should I say, a little more chaotic than the endless intensity that is my life. Dealing with this brutal winter has left my body near incapacitated at times. Most of the time, through no fault of my own, it is just the way it is for me in the cold weather now, I have learned to accept at least that small fact of this fucking condition. In my incapacitated states, I often turn toward the computer. What I have noticed as of late has me on an upward swing of inspiration? I can’t tell you how excited I am at this new discovery!

Reflection is the key and I think that is my exact problem, I have not been reflecting as needed. This past year has been beyond brutal to my psyche, testing me to a point that I didn’t think possible, I am learning to welcome that. Within all this testing I have not been able to find inspiration. I have found plenty of empty motivation and that almost seems worse than anything! To have all of this “oomph” behind you and nowhere to direct it? It is such a wasted shame. All  of that energy just a wasted shame…

Needless to say, when I started to find the inspiration again, I stopped to appreciate it. I stop daily now, a couple times a day and verbally thank the Universe for the beauty that is my life. The internet has become my fast friend in teaching me the ropes to inspiration as of late. Some say that Facebook is the Devil, I say that it is the person making the decisions that is to blame, the internet just “lays your options out there” for you to make your decisions. I personally am grateful for Facebook, for without it, I wouldn’t have changed who I am, because I wouldn’t have been face to face with the things I needed to accomplish that change. I wouldn’t have known that a friend that I high respected from high school, that I had connected with again through Facebook, had passed away at 38, leaving behind a young daughter. I wouldn’t have been able to make the trip to pay my respects or connect with other close friends that I haven’t seen in over 20 yrs. There would have been no reflection to my life, no feeling of almost obligation to really buckle down and figure things out. Not that I haven’t been trying, but it was all like a 2×4 to the chest, ya know?

Without the internet, I wouldn’t know of another friend from high school that was always full of such piss and vinegar, who is now running in Ironman triathalons! He is constantly posting photos or comments about running over 6 miles in -15 degree windchills and such. How does one possibly complain about having to shovel the walk after looking at a photo like that?! The fact is, you shouldn’t be able to. I am sure that it does help that I know of his past, but that just teaches me another lesson, don’t put a life onto someone, you never know who they are going to turn out to be. He is an inspiration because he has always been genuine, he has always partied like it was his last one, he has a beautiful family and children, works his butt off and continues to strive for more. He defines what his life is going to be. I find such inspiration in that.

Yet another friend from high school is pushing past cancer scares. She is constantly driving from Ohio up to Michigan to go to the Karmanos Institute to get brain scans, she is also my age. I am no longer young, boy was that a concept that I had a rough time with. She’s awesome though, handles it all with such humor. She wears her hair bright pink and seems to always have such a smile on her face. She also takes care of her family and any mother knows what a tough job in itself that one is! Who am I to complain about my pain at all when she takes care of her family with such grace? I cannot. Tough as nails that one.

Another friend, who has also dealt with abuse in the past, is a constant reminder of how far I have come. Seeing her posts reminds me that I am no longer in a battered women’s shelter, that I have a humble place of my own for my boys, that I am no longer under his control and that I can make my life into whatever I want it to be now. She checks on me from time to time now, she doesn’t have to do that. She is now happily married with a grown daughter and is studying to be a counselor to others. Honestly, I think she is going to be wonderful at it.

The bottom line for me is that there are people doing what they want. They are taking life by the horns, slapping it’s face and making it their bitch. You can find all the inspiration you want, it is a choice, just as everything else is. You can close yourself off, thinking that is the only way you are going to possibly handle a situation, or you can open yourself up to a million different possibilities if you just get out of your own head. There is inspiration all around us, just open your eyes.

Living the Day Under a Beehive

I have no idea what to do with this mess! When it is hot like this, I am reminded of just how heavy my long locks have become. When it is down, it is hard to remember the pain that comes from wearing my hair up for the day. You do know that I welcome your suggestions, right? I mean, I totally trust your opinion when it comes to this type of thing. I am not complaining in the least, just pointing out today’s realization. Throw some ideas at me, my friend…

Class has Begun…

It never ceases to amaze me the darkness in some people. I remember a time that I thought that “darkness” was the cool and hip thing to be. Growing up, I have realized that it is such a senseless place to spend your life. People were meant to interact, to learn from one another, to teach… I actually go out of my way to avoid most people. The panic I feel when I have to answer a phone is ridiculous. It is a learned behavior, because the real me, well she’s nothing like this scared little girl I feel that I have to deal with inside me. I am blessed that I see this. Blessed that I can change it. I am not perfect, but at least I am no longer stuck inside a place where I felt like I can do nothing to save myself. I have GOT to unlearn this behavior. I am a phenomenal woman who does right by others… It is actually very simple.

The New Extension

It’s very hard to see and the color is all off, but that is my newest creation, a hot pink dread extension to add a little color to my life! I have got a few new one’s done for my daughter, but this is the first Kanekalon one that I have made and it’s for me!!!

Definitely need to look into a steamer for future clients though. I am NOT doing each with a flat iron!

Can you see it? Isn’t she pretty?