Trying to come out of that funk… This self pity and lack of motivation has got to stop! Laying quilt trips on myself and being harder on my psyche than anyone I have ever known. I need my Bikram. I am all off and I do not like the person that I am becoming. Think it’s time for an ass kickin, my own that is…
Blues, yoga and gardening, maybe that will kick things back in order? The cleaning is just not working. I am not feeling more centered, if anything I am feeling more torn now than ever. I know that this too shall pass, but seriously, my impatient self was over with it before it began. Missing Dad terribly. Those times when his silly humor is the only thing that made sense… it’s just not the same without him here. Makes me realize a lot about what I really desire out of life. Not this pathetic excuse that I have been living up until now, that’s for damn sure. Going to get what I want before long… it is going to happen. I just need time and healing. And some Blues.
I saw this floating around today and had to bring it to the masses… well, my masses. This has got to be one of the most beautiful photos that I have seen. It is everything that I strive to be. I love that the labels are taken away and we are left with expression, joy and pure love. I wish that all the people who bring themselves into my life felt this exact way….
It never ceases to amaze me the darkness in some people. I remember a time that I thought that “darkness” was the cool and hip thing to be. Growing up, I have realized that it is such a senseless place to spend your life. People were meant to interact, to learn from one another, to teach… I actually go out of my way to avoid most people. The panic I feel when I have to answer a phone is ridiculous. It is a learned behavior, because the real me, well she’s nothing like this scared little girl I feel that I have to deal with inside me. I am blessed that I see this. Blessed that I can change it. I am not perfect, but at least I am no longer stuck inside a place where I felt like I can do nothing to save myself. I have GOT to unlearn this behavior. I am a phenomenal woman who does right by others… It is actually very simple.
-“For more than five years, Bremer has been drawing ethereal, shimmering skeins of dots, lines and circles in white and colored inks, which he applied directly to the surfaces of personal snap-shots. Then he re-photographs the images and enlarges them as C-prints. Family and Friends, places and landscapes from Bremer’s life, sometimes out-of-focus and barely discernible feature in photographs that function as fixed memories of vanished moments.”