The Passing That Led to My Disappearance…

I’m back my friends, I have missed you all greatly… My father went into the urgent care a couple weeks ago with a cold. That “cold” was pneumonia and that led to finding out he needed his third open heart surgery. On April 16th, he went in for that surgery and ended up having another heart attack on the table. After being on machines for almost seven days to give his body a rest, they tried the surgery again on the 22nd. During that surgery, there was too much bleeding and we lost him.

My brother and I may have been adopted by my father, but he was the one man that stood by us even after things with my mother had ended. I called him Dad and loved him more than most people in my life. A strange thing happened when he went in the hospital… because my youngest boy’s father lives in the area of the hospital, he was able to take most of the responsibility of the care of our little man, giving me the opportunity to stay up at the hospital with my father. I was able to talk to him for hours on end before he went into surgery.

I was able to learn so much about him. I was able to learn that he had found God and that he was not scared. That alone eases all the pain that I could feel. I was able to learn about his parents, how he grew up, how he felt like a wimp when he cried and how he finally realized that he had to be open to people and situations. I got to sit and talk with my daddy, as an adult, saying what we needed to say… we were blessed.

And then it all ended… not even 15mins. after the doctor and chaplain walked out, my estranged step-brother started talking about life insurance policies and his quarter share. The very next morning he was at my father’s door at 8:15am to start going through my dad’s things. We called him up and my other brother up to meet at my dad’s favorite diner, where he went off about being slighted all his life and getting his fair share of dad’s things. During that breakfast he declared that he wanted copies of all paperwork and to be on the phone when we handled the accounts. Now, dad wasn’t a wealthy man by any means, he called a small trailor his home, all his cards were maxed and he had a new van that hadn’t even had a payment made yet. He left the breakfast in a huff, talking about getting a lawyer and such. He followed that up with calling the cops and kicking us out of dad’s house when we went to look for the paperwork. This was all followed by hateful names and bodily threats if we were to show up at the memorial from one of their family members….

It has been just over a week and we are now beginning to grieve… my dad was the best and this situation has been the worst. So disrespectful to his memory. I have quit smoking in his honor though, he would be incredibly happy with that. I am missing him more than I could have imagined. He really was a man of honor and loyalty, that is what I have to remember. I also have to remember that it may have taken him a lifetime to understand how important it was to be open to love, but he understood it before he left us, he took that with him. He was laughing as always when he went into surgery and he wasn’t scared. I couldn’t have prayed for more…

Advertisements

4 thoughts on “The Passing That Led to My Disappearance…

  1. I am so sorry for your loss. Family is often a difficult subject for many. Some don’t know how to grieve- others act out in other ways that show their pain.. the fact is you did the best you could, and are doing the best you can, and i think your dad would be thankful for that.

  2. I am so sorry for your loss, and the difficulty that has followed. Know that you honor his memory with your commitment to life and health and peace.
    What is that saying? The BEST revenge is living WELL.
    Live well, my friend…

    • Oh my goodness, thank you. I have heard too many empty comments from people lately, the typical stuff we say when we have nothing else to say… I appreciate people caring enough to express their feelings, it has just all seen so EMPTY. Thank you for straightening out my brain, it brought tears to my eyes. Much love and light…

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s